The defining characteristic of any addiction is that it
interferes with one major area in your life and that you are unable to stop
despite strong efforts to do so. Some common symptoms that you may be addicted
to masturbation include:
• Seeking out increasingly graphic, extreme or violent pornography
• Feeling ashamed of your masturbation habits
• Having trouble in a relationship because of masturbation
• Having trouble with sexual arousal or in-person sexual interactions because masturbation is easier or more pleasurable
• Masturbating in inappropriate locations such as at work, in the car or in public
• Legal trouble because of masturbation or other sexual behaviors
• Difficulty with time management
• Feelings of frustration, anger, sadness or depression when you can’t masturbate
• Trouble spending time with your children, enjoying your hobbies in other tasks you previously enjoyed
If you think you might be addicted to masturbation, don’t
despair. Hope is available, so contact a qualified addiction specialist or
therapist to begin a life free of addiction.
1Stop punishing yourself. Consider it this way: if
you're constantly dwelling on the disapproval of masturbating, you're still
thinking about masturbation all the time. Don't just trade in your masturbation
addiction for another one — they're so closely related that you won't resolve
anything. Instead, acknowledge that this has been a problem for you, but you
will persevere to stop the impulse.
Remember, you're human. Humans make mistakes, and they have
sexual urges. Neither of these things makes you a bad person. Forgive yourself,
and keep in mind that you are more than the sum of your mistakes.
Resist the urge of sinking into despair by remembering the
times spent feeling sorry for yourself when it could have been spent
relinquishing your addiction.
2Remove anything that tempts your urge to masturbate.
Some common enablers include:
Access to pornographic material: If you have a collection
and you're serious about quitting masturbation, you'll have to dispose of it.
Burn or shred paper, Don't wipe your hard drive just delete the sexy pictures,
and set up parental controls on your Internet browser that block adult content.
Certain times of the day: If you have problems before going
to bed or in the shower, refrain from any temptation to masturbate. For
instance, if it's a problem late at night, drop to the floor and do push-ups
until you're too exhausted to do anything but fall asleep. If you find shower
time too tempting, start using ice cold water only — you won't want to be
in there for long.
Boredom: If you have so little to do that your mind
frequently wanders to sexual thoughts, occupy your schedule. You'll find it
gets easier to avoid masturbation if you're too busy or tired to spare any
energy for distractions.
Loneliness: If you masturbate frequently because you feel
lonely, find ways to limit your solitude. For instance, instead of watching the
game at home by yourself, watch it at a sports bar. Even if you're not hanging
out with friends, you will not be alone, ultimately having no time for
masturbation.
3Find another outlet for your time and energy. Fill
your life with engaging activities. The excitement of doing something different
can help replace the urge to masturbate, and you'll have a go-to distraction
next time you're tempted. Try some of these options:
Get creative. The process of turning sexual urges into
creative output (called sublimation) is something on which monks and sages have
relied upon for centuries. Start writing, learn to play a musical instrument,
paint, draw, or do whatever else makes you feel like you're doing something
productive.
Do sports. It takes discipline and persistence to excel at a
sport. Develop an interest like running or swimming, or a group sport like
soccer, football, basketball, or tennis.
Eat healthy. Fruits and vegetables have healthy effects on
the body and provide nutrients necessary to increase your energy to be more
active throughout the day.
Find a new hobby, or cultivate a skill. Learning something
that takes a while to master can refocus your brain on the delayed
gratification of achieving goals instead of the instant gratification of
masturbation. Try skills like cooking, woodshop, archery, baking, public
speaking, or gardening.
Volunteer your time. Devote your energy to helping people
who've been less fortunate than you, such as working at a shelter, tutoring
low-income students, cleaning up blighted areas, or raising money for a good
cause. You'll get an altruistic feeling from helping others, and you'll have
less time to stray from your goals.
4
Be persistent and patient. Stopping a masturbation
addiction won't hit you like a lightning bolt. It's a process that requires
commitment, and you might make mistakes or relapse on occasions. The real
struggle is persevering, so commit now that you won't let little mistakes stand
in your way.
Set up a reward system. Bribe yourself to stay on-track with
rewards for good behavior. For instance, if you can go two whole weeks without
masturbating once, treat yourself to a small indulgence like a new game or an
ice cream cone.
5Know when to seek help. If you've tried everything
and just can't seem to get your addiction under control, it might be time to
tell someone else about your problem and ask for assistance. Don't feel
ashamed, and remember that many people have similar problems like an addiction.
Seeking help is a brave action, and most people you ask will see it as such.
Ask your religious leader for guidance. If you belong to a
church, consider asking your local clergy for help. Keep three things in mind:
First, these people become part of the clergy because they're dedicated to
helping their congregations. Second, they've probably already assisted someone
with a masturbation addiction before. Lastly, they're bound by strict
confidentiality. Request a private appointment with your pastor, bishop, imam,
rabbi, or other religious leader, and see if his or her advice can help you.
Make an appointment with a medical professional. Counselors,
psychologists and psychiatrists are all trained to help people with varying
levels of addiction. Start by seeing a therapist in your area, who can assess
your addiction and refer you to more specialized help if necessary. Several
treatment options are available, from cognitive-behavior therapy to medication.
No comments:
Post a Comment